Everybody always takes care of the things they really love.  And if I, as Christians know how to love my wife, in doing so I will be truly blessing myself.  

Caring for things you love

You take care of your motor car so that it would drive well. Every businessman takes care of his business so that it will bring him a better profit. We all take care of our bodies.  You learn how to care for your health so that the vitality and happiness will be maintained.  It only makes sense to take care for the things we love so that they will save us better.  And we need to take care of our wives.

A Christian husband loving his wife is not driven by a selfish motivation. When we look clearly in the Bible we will see why this is true. The biblical understanding of marriage is very deep and very profound.

Love your wife as Christ loved Church

We might think of marriage as simply a relationship between two people; but the Bible explains it in much deeper terms than this. The Bible actually sees the husband and wife as one unity.

Matthew 19:6 – So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

The Apostle Paul writing in the Book of Ephesians chapter 5 said these words:

Eph 5:28 to 32 – So the husbands are also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it even as the Lord does the church.  Because we are members of his body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and your cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

Why it important have healthy self esteem 

The Lord Jesus did not condemn a healthy self esteem.  In Matthew chapter 22, verse 39, Jesus told us to “love our neighbour as yourself”.   There is a place for honest self-interest.

Loving your beautiful wife is also loving yourself.  A Christ centred husband can love his wife knowing that by loving her, he is loving himself as well as her. This is because he and her are in fact truly one.  A Christian husband cannot love his wife as a separate entity in order to bless here and her alone – for he cannot love and bless her without blessing himself as well.  His love for her is an expression of his love for himself as well.  His love for her speaks for and springs out of the Unity they share together and so his love for her is really motivated from honest self-interest.

A man loves his body our of the the practical necessity. He loves his body and it depends on it for everything he does. If he expects his body to serve him well, he must take care of it. He cannot take care of himself without at the same time taking care of his body for he and his body are one. So it is with his wife he is one with her and she is one with him.  He cannot be complete without her.

What is “destiny” about

Healthy and godly self esteem is not related to self centred indulgence. A healthy self love is related to the calling of who you are and who you where destined to be in God.

Love is related to destiny.  A healthy self esteem is related to questions such as: Who am I? Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life?  I love myself and take care of myself in order that I can do a better job in what I am called by God to do. So when a husband loves his wife, he loves himself and his wife together as a unity that they may serve God together in the thing which He has called them to do.

I heard an account of a true story of a man who has lost his lung tuberculosis. This man regularly excused himself to go to bed at 8:30 in the evening. He had lost one lung and he knew knew that he had to have extra rest if where to continue to live and support his family. He took care of himself so that he could take care of his family responsibilities.
A loving husband takes care of his wife as he takes care of himself so that you can fulfill and be fulfilled in his calling and her calling together. That is the practical Kind of Love that flows out of a God centred marriage where the wife and her husband are truly one.

The woman is for the man

The Bible teaches that God’s intention in creating woman is to provide a fitting helper for him (Genesis 2:18).
This is not a role that “polls highly” in the God rejecting culture of our present Society.

So the husband who loves his wife takes can take care of her so that she can be blessed and fulfill this precious calling she has from God. But, at the same time her calling will bless her husband, That is the way God ordered ordained it to be. As he loves her in the same way that he loves himself it is also her calling that brings both him and her personal fulfillment. Her husband wants fulfilment for her as he wants it for himself. A christian husband loves his wife as his own body. The two are one!

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The Lord Jesus in the Bible is the  CENTRAL THEME of all scripture!  Bibletruthsrevealed  shows that it portrays  and glorifies Jesus in every book. 

The Books Of The Bible

The Lord Jesus Christ is THE great and grand theme in all the books of the bible! To the eye that has been touched and anointed with the Holy Spirit, he is seen on every page of scripture. As we read the word of God every book presents us with a different aspect of the glorious Jesus.

On The Road To Emmaus

In the gospel of Luke chapter 24 we have an account of our Lord Jesus appearing to two sad disciples as they were walking on the road to Emmaus.  

The two were walking to the village called Emmaus which was about seven miles from Jerusalem. Theses two disciples of the Lord were heartbroken because they knew of ( and probably had seen) the crucifixion of Jesus in Jerusalem. They still did not yet know the wonderful truth that he was risen from the dead.

The Perfect Stranger

As they walked along the scripture tells us that Jesus Himself drew near and went with them.  They had in their sadness met the perfect stranger,  The Lord Jesus.  However, that day their eyes were restrained, so that they didn’t recognise Him.  Jesus asked them, (verse 17), “What kind of conversation is this that you have with one another as you walk and are sad?”

The sad disciples related to the Lord the events of his crucifixion and how some of the Lord’s female disciples had thought they had seen a vision of angels that had proclaimed that he was risen again.

The Emmaus Road Sermon

Then in verses 25 and 26 we read that Jesus began to preach what surely must be the greatest sermon preached in all of human history.  The “Emmaus road sermon”.  

He said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures.  Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?” Then we read that our Lord took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.

What a wonderful bible study this must have been! I wish I could have been there and recorded it as through a summary of the books in the bible.  In every portion of scripture he opened their understanding to show them that every part of the scriptures spoke of himself.

The Seed of Woman Prophecy

I imagine ( and believe with all my heart) that our Lord would have taken then to Genesis chapter 3.  Here we have ” the seed of the woman prophecy”.  In verses 14 and 15 of this chapter it was prophesied that, speaking of the coming victory of the cross of Calvary, the “ seed of the woman” ( the virgin Mary) would crush the serpent’s ( Satan’s ) head.  This is the bible’s  first clear hint of  a coming redeemer.  In this crushing process on Calvary’s cross, the heel – feet of Jesus would suffer – bruised by crucifixion.

Gen 3 :14, 15 –  The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, Cursed are you more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you will go, And dust you will eat All the days of your life;  And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, And you shall bruise him on the heel.

All We Like Sheep Have Gone Astray

It is also very probable that Our Lord would have preached to them from the book of Isaiah.  The prophet Isaiah, (who wrote some 700 years before the birth of our savior), clearly foretold  His sufferings.   It clearly foretells how, because ” all we like sheep have gone astray” – how he had died to carry in himself the sins of the world!

Isaiah 53: 5, 6 – He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

The Resurrection of Jesus

Perhaps he took them to David’s psalm of resurrection. 

Psalm 110:1. – The LORD said unto my Lord, Sit thou at my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool .

This psalm cannot refer to anyone in history except Christ, yet it was written about 1000 years before Jesus was born.   It is quoted in the New Testament – Acts 2:34, Heb 1:13, Heb 5:6.

The Breaking of The Bread

Then we read ( Luke 24:30, 31 ) how Jesus revealed himself to them as he “ broke bread” with them; he then vanished from their sight.  The testimony of these two disciples was ….Luke 24:32 – Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?

A Passion for Christ 

And it can be the same for us as we trust the Holy Spirit to reveal the things of Christ as we read, we too can grow in a passion for Christ. You cannot go far in any part of scripture but you meet with something that has reference to Christ, some prophecy, some promise, some prayer, some type or other; for he is the true treasure in the field of the Old Testament. A golden thread of gospel grace runs through the whole web of the Old Testament and Jesus glory shines clearly in the new.  God will make our hearts too ” burn within us” as we see Jesus in scripture through the revelation of God’s Holy Spirit.

Let us make a complete study and a summary of all the books in the bible.  Let us all diligently read God’s precious word to find the wonderful Jesus on every page!

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The apostle Paul writing in the seventh chapter of Corinthians  (v39) writes that a Christian’s marriage must only be in the Lord.   So what is a marriage in the Lord?

God Desires To Be At The Centre of Your Marriage

It’s easy to be swept away with romantic and sexual feelings that results in the rapid commitment of a guy and gal to each other.   And its so very easy for these rapidly made unions to dissolve almost as quickly as they started because God is not at the center.  It’s essential for a believer seeking a wife or husband to know what is the difference not only between love and infatuation, but more importantly that God can indeed bless their marriage union.  A Christian marriage is only truly valid and able to have God’s presence fill it if it is between two born again believers; a union between two ‘heirs together of the grace of life’, (2 Pet 3:7). 

The Trap of Being “Unequally Yoked” 

The scriptures teach quite emphatically that a Christian is commanded NOT to get tied into any partnerships with non-Christians where the Incompatibility between a righteous lifestyle and  ungodliness would cause friction.  This principle applies of course, very strongly to the marriage of a Christian with an unbeliever;  joining together with a sexual partner who is not in Christ.

2 Cor 6: 14 – Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Some Additional Considerations Before Deciding To Marry

Even when both persons contemplating getting married are both Christians, rather than just” falling in love” a couple need to build on the foundation of their Christian marriage wisely, lovingly and purposefully.    Before they both ‘take the plunge’ its wise to know if they really are suited, or if the rush they are feeling is temporary infatuation.  They both need to consider their compatibility. This is essential for the success of the relationship since various psychological studies have demonstrated that the intense rush of excited happiness from infatuation only lasts about 18 months.   After this time, the dopamine body  chemical that give a feeling of blissful happiness dies.   It is only that which remains that a couple have spent time to build into their union that will determine the success or failure of the relationship.  Dr. Susan Heitler wrote in Psychology Today, “It’s easy to confuse loving the feeling of infatuation with the totally separate issue of how loving you are likely to feel toward that person after the infatuation has worn off.”

We live in a culture obsessed with romance. Sweet stories of sensual passion, quick commitments and affectionate promises surround us this time of year. And yet, even while we seem to worship love, its crumbling runs rampant as divorce rates skyrocket. The truth is that what we often see portrayed as true love in love movies and other media is actually just the heat of infatuation.

So how can you tell the difference between love and infatuation? Thankfully, you don’t have to be fooled by your brain chemistry. There are some helpful things to keep in mind at the beginning of any whirlwind romance, before you take the plunge into marriage. Here are some important questions to ask yourself:

Are Romantic Feelings the Only Bonds In Your Relationship?

Ask yourself the question, “Would you have made friends together if romantic feelings had never developed?  You need to have shared values and goals?  You need to be honest with yourself and evaluate what’s left of a deeply loving friendship if  romance fades.    A Christian couple after all need to put God’s kingdom first.

Do Your Friends and Family Like This Person?

Do the people who know you best agree feel good about your relationship?   It’s wise to consider the way the other person’s family and friends feel about your future union? It’s wise to maintain community and listen to the wisdom from those you trust is crucial.

Can You Truly Be Yourself With Your Intended?

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward. But if you’re still in performance mode (or if you suspect they are), give it some time. If you cannot truly be yourself with this person, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them?

Has the Relationship Had Time to Grow and Develop?

It’s easy to want to jump into a lifelong commitment when you are wearing rose-colored glasses. Because we know that infatuation simply cannot last forever, one way to be sure you’re seeing clearly is to wait it out. Not only does this give you the opportunity to see the other person in a variety of circumstances, but the delaying of gratification is an important exercise for you both. Christian psychologists Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend wrote in Boundaries in Dating, “Love waits and respects, but lust must have what it wants now.”

How Do You Handle Conflict Together?

When you’re not feeling so happy, does your relationship still stand up? How you handle conflict as a team is an important indicator of whether your relationship can stand the test of time. When you fight (not if, but when), take note of how it is handled.

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Sensitivity to  your wife’s needs is of primary importance in your relationship. This page  and associated pages gives advice on meeting some of these needs.

Your Wife Needs To Be Affirmed

Everyone of us takes care of our self.  At least we do if we have healthy mind.  We are sensitive to the needs of our body for cleanliness, for nourishment and for health.  We have a built in awarenesses that cause us to take care of ourselves.  As  Christians we should take care of our wives because our precious spouses  are “One flesh”  with us;  Our Lord Jesus said…

Mark 10:7. 8– For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

.  Our lives are entwined;  we are of one flesh because God has joined us together.  There is a list in the following page giving us guidelines I’ve had we can be sensitive to our wives needs#

She Needs To Be Affirmed As a Woman

A man’s wife needs to know that she is “his woman”  and  she needs to be affirmed sexually about her attractiveness.  Affirming her sexually in the bedroom of course is part of this and a very strong part of it.   However,  affirming your wife sexually as your woman involve  much more than just taking her to bed.   Your wife’s confidence in herself as a woman must extend beyond the bedroom.  Not only in the bedroom but throughout all the day she should feel affirmed, loved and cherished.  She needs to have a continual sense with her that she is your woman and that use wanted and desired buy you.

 Many small affirmations
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There are a multitude of ways we can affirm our wife throughout the day, but its so easy to neglect her .  A man who is a business man could be so totally immersed in his work that he’s thinking about his work whilst he dresses, while he shaves and while he is going out of the door to the car.   It’s so easy to leave the wife with a grunt in the morning when you are so busy as you head for the office or place of work.
But this is an example of an opportunity that can be missed to affirm your wife.  Before you reach the decor and walk out of the door this is an ideal time to kiss her attentively and tell her softly that she is loved by you.
Stop in the morning for a goodbye kiss.  Even hold her by the waist look into my eyes and tell her  something like, “you sure are something beautiful to come home to”.  It’ll be worth it!   She will be waiting for you all day and you’ll be maybe very pleasantly surprised buy your homecoming if you treat her tenderly and with affirmation of love in this way!

It’s a wonderful idea but once a day once every day you remind your wife in some little way that she is sexually appealing and attractive to you.  This will cause her to  really “bloom” because  a wife’s esteem affects everything.  
The way your wife sees herself as a person in her a sexuality and in  self-confidence will affect everything she does.  It will affect the way she keeps the home.  

It will affect the way the way she decorates the home.   It effects her influence in the community and the way she stands by you and supports you in public.  The way you affirm her will effect the way she dresses the children and the way she works in community.    It will have a ripple – on effect in many arenas, even  affecting the sympathetic way she listens to a friend in need over a  coffee.  It will even affect the way she pays compliments to check out girl when she goes shopping.
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She Needs To Be Affirmed As Your Wife

 

Your spouse needs to know and be sure and secure in the certain and beautiful relationship given by God that she has with you as your wife.  She needs to know that her relationship with you is not only unique but God ordained.

 Song of Solomon 1:15 –  How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves.

She needs to know this deep in her heart and spirit that the Lord  gave her to you as a precious  gift and help-meet.

A Wife’s Struggle with  Submission

In the book the Christian couple by Larry and Nordis Christenson, .the story unfolds concerning a young housewives struggle over being scriptually submissive to a husband.   The young wife struggled with the biblical submission principle. 

1 Pet 3:3 to 6 – Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.  For this is how the holy women of the past adorned themselves. They put their hope in God and were subject to their husbands,

The true account unfolds of a young wife who had the mistaken opinion that being submissive and obedient to her husband according to would demean  her.   
One day after reading an article praising the virtue of being a submissive wife,  she related how that  when her  husband walked in the door that night,  for all the world she said, ” I wanted to raise the clenched fist of rebellion in his face”.  And yet at the same time she felt dissatisfied the way things were going in the  marriage, so more-or-less as an experiment she decided to try the ‘submissive thing.’

She began to listen more carefully to her husband.   She began to speak to him in phrases like, 
“sure honey” and “ok darling” in her vocabulary as she spoke with him.  She also tried to anticipate his preferences.  
One evening about a month later,  they were sharing a seat together in the kitchen over a turkey sandwich while the children what happened on TV    ……TO BE CONTINUED

Chapters In This Series:

• How To Love My Wife
• The Christian Honeymoon

Please feel free to contact me via THIS WEBSITE’S contact form.  I would be so pleased to hear from you.  Please also feel free to leave me with any advice and any of your own experiences as we develop these articles together.   I will consider including any experiences of how the Lord has helped your marriage in blogs on this website.    GO TO contact Form to contact me.

In Psalm 45 we have a beautiful psalm celebrating the royal wedding, we saw it as is an inspired prophetic song concerning Christ and his bride the church.    We previously looked  at marriage in the light of scripture and saw what a wonderful, pure and sacred thing married sexual love is between a husband and wife.   It is God’s beautiful gift.   Now I will discuss that very sacred time called the honeymoon when each newly wed couple explore each other and begin to know each other more tenderly and  intimately!   If you are a Christian, I trust you will read this in purity because these things are written with the hope they will be a blessing to newly married Christian couples.

Below is some practical advice on how to enjoy your honeymoon to the full.

Perhaps Wait Till Morning  – The wedding day can be such a busy time and at the end of the day both you and your love may be very tired. This time may be planned as the first and special time for sexual intimacy. Many brides like to “wait” until their wedding day for good reasons, but even if you have made love before your wedding night- you will want the fist time after marriage to be very memorable and special. On your wedding night you might consider waiting until the next morning for sexual intimacy.

Nothing is worse than feeling rushed, pressured or tired when you want to experience the delight of becoming or being one. A good nights sleep in each others arms may be the best thing to do. Then in the morning when you are fresh after the groom spreads flower petals on and around the bed you can both make love. Even if the decision is to be sexually intimate that night, it might be something worth discussing together now before the wedding day.

Husbands, Be A Slow Lover – Husbands, always remember that women love a “slow lover”.   Women love a man who is patient in bringing his wife to emotional and sexual arousal.  This is really a test for a man and when he is patient it shows his tenderness, love and consideration.   A man can be aroused quickly and reach orgasm in a few minutes while a woman normally needs much longer, typcally a minimum of 15 minutes.  Your bride may need slow carressess all over and kisses,  The husband should try and create an EMOTIONAL atmosphere that woos her heart.  Dim the lights, even sing to her; women love being sung to.  Tell her how beautiful she is.

Think baths and massages  –  A jaccuzzi tub or even a plain old-fashioned bath is a great place to relax and also to get to know each other and each others bodies.  Giving each other body massages all over with massage-oil will help you both to be relaxed in being naked together.  Showering and taking baths is a great way to feel intimate and get used to each other.  Please remember  jacuzzi sex may be so easy as you thought.  It might be good to have fun but if you have to move to the bed for the “main event”, that’s honestly okay. And likely a lot easier.

First Night At Home?

Everything is better if you relax.   Maybe the fist night can be spent at home where you both feel more natural, comfortable and there is no pressure.  If the first night is spent in your home you will feel more relaxed,   and in this relaxed atmosphere things happen as they’re going to happen more spontaneously and naturally.  And please don’t worry about unrealistic ” first night expectations”.   You have the rest of your life together and sex is going to improve as you get more familiar with each other and each others needs.  I said earlier that it might be a good idea to just rest in each others arms the first night after the wedding.  Just enjoy each other and let things happen as they happen.   Anyway, I say again – A great wedding tip is –  wait for the morning to have sex even if you spend the fist night in your own new home! You’ll often  be too tired after the long day of your wedding! 

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Every Christian marriage  today is filled with excited hope.  Like the 1940 Pioneers settlers who crossed the Mississippi River looking for the precious gold!  
They were entering into a new land going for precious treasure.  The way how to have a fulfilling marriage is to keep Jesus Christ at the centre.  With Jesus Christ at the center of a marriage – all these problems can not only be overcome, but by God’s help and grace – they can even be used as ” stepping stones” to success!

Reach A New Horizon

Those early pioneers were filled with hope in the expectation of new territory and exciting wonders and perhaps riches that they have never seen before. Entering marriage as a couple is a bit like being a Pioneer Crossing into new territory. A new land of new experiences is stretching out before you both. Although countless couples have gone on before you to enter into the new land of married life, it’s still for you both an unsettled and unexplored land  and a new horizon before you.  

Hold Tight Your Dreams

Any pioneers crossing into new Land are filled with two things. The first thing they are filled with his new hope and excitement about what lies in the future. However the pioneers always also experience difficulties.   As a newly married couple you  both need to hold tight your dreams because there will be challenges along the way.

Married couples are like that. They enter marriage with such hopes and dreams and excitement, and rightly so because a marriage with God at it’s center has the potential to be a very wonderful union with great and glorious potential. But as I said, there no doubt will be the challenging presence of difficulties of various kinds; these trials can make marriage stronger if endured with the correct attitude. However they can also destroy!

Communication Problems in a Marriage

This shattering of hopes and dreams need not happen but it is so sad that often a marriages hope shrivels up under the face of difficulties and trials that come.  Such difficulties in marriage sometimes break down what could be such a glorious union and destroy the fresh new hope that the couple had at the start of their relationship.  Communication problems in a marriage can bring discouragement and dismay may even quench the fire of love.

Christian Marriage Counseling

Difficulties may take the form of arguments and sharp disagreements between husband and wife. There might also be also problems in the bedroom.  This can occur  when it comes to difficulties in understanding  each other’s sexual needs.  Sometimes trouble lie in difficulties in finances.  Difficulties can take many forms but these can quench, smother and Crush the hope that the newly wed couple had at the start.  Such problems sometimes drive Christian couples to seek Christian Marriage Counseling.

But as we will see in articles to come, with Jesus Christ at the center of a marriage – all these problems can not only be overcome, but by God’s help and grace – they can even be used as ” stepping stones” to a wonderful marriage union.

Chapters In This Series:

• How To Love Your Wife
• What Is a Marriage In The Lord
• Sensitivity To Her Needs
• How To Love My Wife
• The Christian Honeymoon

Please feel free to contact me via THIS WEBSITE’S contact form.  I would be so pleased to hear from you.  Please also feel free to leave me with any advice and any of your own experiences as we develop these articles together.   I will consider including any experiences of how the Lord has helped your marriage in blogs on this website.    GO TO – contact  Marcus at Bible Truths Revealed – to contact me.

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